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لا بد أن يلتزم المدربون بمحتوى وفلسفة فكر مؤسسة Focus on the Family.

Facilitators are required to be trained in the .® curriculum and accredited.

2. Facilitators must adhere to FOTF policy position on the following issues:

3. Facilitators should not make any customization to the talk content.

4. To represent themselves and Focus on the Family well, facilitators should be appropriately and smartly attired.

• Thoroughly review the .® curriculum.
• It will be best to present the material in teams of at least two, with each person concentrating on learning two units or half of each unit.
• Alternate presentations after you have mastered your portion of the material.
• Practice with your teammate(s), timing your presentation.
• Have someone observe and critique your presentation.

Top 3 Qualities of a Successful Facilitator

Engaging

Be personable – you are going to be talking about some very personal matters. Be yourself, stay relaxed and be open. Use stories – they are powerful! Be relevant to the audience’s life stage:

 For younger teens (Lower secondary students)

• Always explain difficult or more technical terms and refrain from using flowery language.
• Use examples and stories to illustrate your points. For example, common scenarios from TV programs or real-life experiences.
• There is no need to furnish too many details when it comes to sexuality-related examples or stories. Make the point in one or two concise statements.
• You may need to help them understand some of the physical and emotional changes they are experiencing in puberty.

 For older teens (Upper secondary students)

• Use a more relational tone and refrain from talking down to the students.
• Use your own personal stories as much as possible to establish rapport with your audience.
• When sharing an example or story related to sexuality, remember to share just enough details to make the point, but do not share sexually graphic or vivid information, which may arouse the student’s curiosity or make them uncomfortable.
• Unless asked by students, do not offer more information than is required, especially in the area of sexuality. For example, if the question, “What is softcore pornography?” is asked, address it concisely and move on with the presentation. Do not offer up more information, say, on other forms of pornography, which is outside the scope of the original question.
• This is the stage where teens are trying to navigate through identity and friendship issues. The approach should be geared towards helping them discover who they are as a unique individual.
• At this stage, their decision-making has not been fully developed. It is important to help them to consider their choices and guide them toward healthy decision-making.

 College level (Post-secondary students)

• Youth at this stage have a better ability to analyze and filter messages. Acknowledge different opinions and challenge them to make the best decision.
• Use real examples of people their age and examples of how to maintain healthy relationships with the opposite sex in the area of dating.
• In the area of sexuality, keep in mind to share relevant and helpful details only, and leave out unnecessary sexually graphic or vivid information, which may arouse the student’s curiosity or make them uncomfortable.
• Youth at this stage might want to probe further and find out more about a certain area of sexuality. If they ask a question, ask them back what they think to challenge them to come up with a few possible responses. Take what they offer up, and guide their responses toward a helpful direction.

Right attitude

Your attitude helps you persuade and also control the kind of responses you get from your audience.

• Sincerity – encourages trust through tone of voice and eye contact.
• Enthusiasm – draws out interest and is genuinely from the heart.
• Enjoyment – creates a positive atmosphere and is communicated by body language.
• Love – communicates compassion and a genuine interest in the lives of the students.
• Authority – instills confidence and is communicated by posture and tone of voice.

Effective communication

The first 15 seconds of your opening are vital. Most of your audience’s perception of you is made at this time, mostly from visual judgments. Therefore, how you stand, what you wear, and how you move are critical.

An effective communicator is one who:

• Models good character, integrity, and modesty.
• Is warm, understanding, and has an easily approachable manner.
• Is open to sharing relevant aspects of his/her life with the group.
• Treats each person as having worth and dignity in his/her own right.
• Does not force people to speak or participate, but creates a situation in which they can and want to participate.
• Helps people communicate with one another.
• Believes each member of the group has opinions worth hearing.
• Is patient in drawing people out and helps them articulate their views.
• Is a good listener who encourages others to listen respectfully to what is being said.
• Is not self-seeking, but is concerned with the needs of the group.
• Is flexible, but not indifferent to the expressed needs of the group.
• Avoids being critical, dogmatic, or discourteous toward any participant.
• Does not expect to be a perfect speaker, but is willing to learn from each experience.
• Remains teachable and tries to build on the fundamental principles of good communication.

Go through the list once again and tick those points you presently do well. Take the time to work on the unchecked ones the next time you conduct a talk.

To maintain interest and build an atmosphere where everyone can be engaged:

• Keep the discussion focused.
• Arrange seating in a way which facilitates discussion and ensures that the majority of the audience can see you. If possible, have the participants seated in clusters of four to six. With a large group, seating is usually set up seminarstyle. Address participants by their first names (if name tags are available), and draw participation from different individuals in the group.
• Re-emphasize major points and invite questions.
• Observe individuals, encouraging feedback at their level of understanding.
• Know the participants’ personalities and engage the outgoing ones to maintain the dynamics of the group.

 Top 10 facilitator mistakes

1. Poor preparation — forgetting your notes, curriculum, or props, arriving late, etc.

2. Embarrassing a participant for the sake of a laugh.

3. Not speaking to the whole room.

4. Losing control of the group.

5. Going off track or spending time on unrelated topics.

6. Getting engrossed in teaching all the facts without engaging the participants.

7. Missing opportunities to share your story and connect with the participants.

8. Not keeping track of time and going over the allotted time.

9. Not dressing modestly or appropriately.

10. Forgetting to conduct the student evaluation at the end of the talk.

Questions are a good sign that your participants are interested in what you have to say. Approach these questions as one-on-one conversations, with a whole bunch of other people listening.

Anticipate questions. Learn how to manage Q&A sessions with ease and politeness. Weave your answers from the material covered in this curriculum to emphasize learning points. With some preparation and practice, you can answer most of the questions that will come up in a talk/workshop with young people (or in a conversation with your own teenage son or daughter).

“A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver. Like an earring of gold or an ornament of fine gold is a wise man’s rebuke to a listening ear.”
– Ancient Proverb

11 Important Things to Remember

1. Thare no stupid questions, only stupid answers.

Your wise answers will counter the stupid answers teens will hear in the media, from peers, and from other programs that are not interested in teaching what is best for them.

Questions are teachable moments for words of wisdom, healing, and encouragement. Your responses to questions are heard not just by the one asking, but also by all who are listening. Words are powerful – psychologically and emotionally. They can inform, hurt or heal. Words can give hope.

Your participants may actually be asking something that is unspoken. Listen with your ears, mind, and heart. As you carefully listen, filter through the question to get to the heart of the matter. This is your moment to be a messenger of hope and healing.

2. Not all questions need a response.

There is always at least one teen in every group who will ask a question to put you on the spot. This question is usually direct, embarrasses most of the group and might even cause your face to flush. It may have been asked specifically to get a good laugh from some peers. The question may also potentially point toward contentious content or require the trainer to disclose information that is not appropriate for the age group of the audience. Take a deep breath and resist the temptation to answer the question right then, in front of the whole group. Instead, simply pick one of these responses:

• “That sounds like a pretty personal question. How about you and I meet after the workshop or discuss that with your school counselor?”
• “I’m sorry, but that question isn’t respectful to the rest of the group. Does anyone else have a question?”

3. Not all questions should be answered by you.

Point the teens to their parents, teachers or other trusted adults. If the answer is found in material you have already covered, or will cover, try re-routing the question back to the teen to answer.

• “What do you guys think? Does anyone here want to try to answer that question?”
• “Good question! Think about how you would answer that question, because later, that’s what we will be learning.”

If the teen gets the answer wrong, you have a wonderful opportunity to re-teach the concept.

4. You don’t have to know the answer to every question that will be asked.

Don’t be afraid to say, “I don’t know the answer to that question.” If it is relevant, bring an answer to the question the next time the group meets. If you get a tough question, admit it and get the name of the person to follow up later.

• “Wow! That’s a tough one! Let me think about that for a minute and I’ll come back to it.”
• “Good question! Does anyone here want to try to answer that?”
• “Let me see if I understood you correctly. Did everyone here hear the question?” (Then rephrase the question.)
• “Can you repeat the question for me?”
• “I need to think about that for a while. I’ll try to answer that later/tomorrow.” (Then remember to answer it.)

You may be asked a very honest question that brings a rush of nervous laughter to the group. You might even laugh. Again, if you aren’t prepared to answer the question, you can say something like:

• “That’s a question that I would love to talk to you about during the break.” (This takes the pressure off tackling a sticky question in front of everyone. Also, some teens will try to embarrass you – don’t let that happen in front of everyone.)
• “That’s a good question, but I’d like to think about my response for a bit. Let’s come back to it before I leave.” Or, “Let’s come back to it tomorrow.” (Then, be sure to come back to the question.)
• “Thanks for your courage in asking that question. Here are some thoughts on that…”

5. Use the opportunity to teach good, sound principles.

Paint a picture that teens will remember. Most questions will serve as a chance to review or re-teach a concept. Use object lessons and activities already taught to help the teens cement the truth in their minds.

6. Take time to give a clear and accurate answer.

When you want to use exact wording, don’t be afraid to go back to your notes. You will be modeling to the teens that when you want to give a concise and correct answer, you go back to the source of information.

7. Limit the number of questions you respond to.

Say something like, “We have time for three questions.”

8. Make sure the teen asks a question.

A lot of time can be spent making a comment, which may end up confusing the other teens. If this happens, gently interrupt by saying, “I’m sorry to interrupt, but for the sake of time, could you clarify your question, please?”

9. Use question cards (or Slido.com).

Instruct the participants to write down their question as they think of them and to drop it in the Comments Box you have placed in the room. Check the box at each break and draw a couple of questions out of it to answer. This will help to draw out a shy teen or give courage to the one who doesn’t want to publicly ask an important question. Allow anonymity and assure confidentiality to those who would prefer by offering to respond to their question on an individual basis or in private. If a question keeps popping up, include it as part of your presentation.

10. Ask questions.

Ask questions that usually come up in other workshops. The participants may have the same questions, but they may not have the courage to ask them publicly.

11. Share what is helpful and avoid what is unhelpful

Keep in mind to share only what is necessary and helpful, especially when it comes to topics on sexuality. When sharing an example or your own story, share just enough details to make the main point and avoid furnishing information that is extraneous, (e.g. sexually graphic details that may arouse youths’ curiosity in an unhelpful way or cause them discomfort). Unless asked, do not offer up more information than is necessary. And even when a youth wants to probe further, re-direct or re-frame the question if you sense it would go into contentious content. When necessary, you can explain that you won’t answer the question at all or during the workshop (refer to point 2).